Do you ever feel that people ignore your voice in meetings, senior management fails to notice your hard work, or that you are always exhausted doing busy work?
The habits we form in the early years of our career play a big part in shaping our leadership style and ensuring our long term career success. In this article, I want to share three small habits that have allowed me to become more confident in my leadership ability, increased my professional visibility, and helped me maintain a better work-life balance.
Small habits for career success
#1: Taking a seat at the table
You walk into the conference room for a meeting with very senior management. Most of the seats at the large wooden conference table are taken. You spot an empty chair next to the vice president. You also spot several empty chairs next to the wall. Being the only woman in the room, you are already feeling a little hesitant and self-conscious. So when you see a friendly-looking person taking notes on a chair next to the wall, you decide to head their way. The meeting starts, and the discussion intensifies. You have a valuable fact to add, but you hold back as you are not sure your voice will be heard from the side. The decision is made and the budget is slashed.
What if you had taken the seat next to the vice president? You would have made introductions with him and the person on the other side. Perhaps, you would have gone around the table and shook hands with a few more people. You would have felt more confident to participate in the meeting and share your opinion on the matter being debated. And because you know your stuff well, you could have positively influenced the outcome of the meeting.
Always take a seat at the table. That’s the only way you get yourself noticed and heard. If you are not at the table, you are essentially not at the meeting.
#2: Learning to say no
NO can be a difficult thing to say. Women, more than men, struggle with saying no, for fear of offending others, hurting feelings, or missing opportunities. When we say YES to projects while already being stretched thin, we are neither doing justice to the new commitments nor to the ones that are already on our plate.
For me, the struggle with saying No was real. I pride myself on multi-tasking, and multi-tasking everything well! In 2015, I started the weekend MBA program while working full-time and, continuing to pursue my volunteer and networking endeavors. And then half-way through the MBA program, I had my first son. I had overloaded my plate. I still squirm when I remember how I had started getting vivid flashes of myself swirling a plate piled high with food, with an item falling each time it turned around!
This experience was truly eye-opening. Juggling my first managerial role, full-time graduate school, and a new-born meant I had to really introspect and lean out my commitments. I said no to the networking happy hours and volunteering at technical conferences. I said no to in-person team meetings and extended discussions over term paper details that did not matter. And when a leadership opportunity to manage my company’s women network group came my way, I turned it down too. Yes, I probably missed out on making some great relationships. But I am certain that I can seek those opportunities again when the time is right for me.
Many times, we say yes to all the opportunities that come our way just for fear of missing out (FOMO). Next time you encounter an opportunity, think about how it fits with your long term goals before saying yes.
If you are particularly struggling with saying no to your manager when she loads you with another task on top of your already overloaded plate, check out the blogpost by Classy Career Girl, which talks about How to Say No at Work without offending your boss or colleagues.
#3: Asking questions
Some time back, I was invited to attend a round table discussion with my company’s senior HR manager. For the better part of the meeting, I silently rehearsed the question I really wanted to ask her: why do we not have a formal mentorship program at work? I finally summoned the courage and asked what was on my mind.
The answer was not very conclusive. But one thing was clear to me: I could not rely on my organization to find me a mentor. I was in the driver’s seat of my career, and it was up to me to find the right support for my career. Had I not asked the question, I would have continued to hope that my organization will someday instigate a formal mentorship program. And I most certainly wouldn’t have explored some of the other great ways of non-traditional mentoring.
Key takeaway: always ask questions. If you are not asking questions, you are not learning.
Asking questions also gets you noticed. It is especially important when you attend conferences or seminars, as these events are great networking opportunities. If you are not asking questions at a conference, you are missing out on an important benefit of attending the event.
Let me give you an example. A couple of months back, I attended the Women’s Global Leadership Conference, one of the largest conferences for women leadership in the oil and gas industry. Over a thousand influential and aspiring women leaders attended the WGLC 2019 conference. During one of the very first panel discussions, I asked a question that ensued a longwinded answer on how organizations can prevent brain drain from the O&G industry to the silicon valley.
In the networking break that followed, at least three people asked me if I had asked that question. Not only was this an excellent ice-breaker, but we also had a longer and more meaningful conversation. I can also say with certainty that they were more likely to remember me and add me to their network on receiving my LinkedIn invite.